In a plane flying out if Phoenix Az, first the abrupt mountain ridges sharply glowing in the setting sun, then, softly the clouds, one can forget the nonsense of flying from Portland to Baltimore via Arizona. There is beauty and majesty in the contours of the reddish brown earth down here in the Southwest. What a contrast to the lush spruce forest around equally or more majestically snow-capped Mount Hood. Worlds seem to lie between these points only two flight hours apart and both exotic and fresh in their newness to the east coaster. So I am perched into my window spot inside the plane as usual snapping the fast moving wondrous images unfolding in front of the tiny opening of my protective silver shell. Darkness is falling rapidly now flying away from the sun and into the night. On the other side of this night waits for me the sixth decade of my life which seems to be waning just as rapidly as the daylight outside. Never before did I dread the new first digit as much as now. Age up to now could either be ignored and was easily compensated by increased access, insight or influence. Now, however, whatever incremental new wisdom there might accumulate, is outweighed by memory loss, fatigue and occasional outright confusion. Even with a flawlessly functioning body there is no denying of the wear. Mostly, of course, all this takes place in the mind and manifests itself more in fear than in fact. The pure arithmetic is intimidating, let alone the probabilities. Plus the example of the parents, now coming in two versions, one encouraging and one disheartening. They are still, like a seawall keeping death at bay, at least so it seems. Yet the parents outline the trajectory of life so clearly and it feels like that I am flying in close formation with them slowly losing altitude.
Those are the thoughts while Southwest displays their in-flight treats in the form of small packs of peanuts and crackers. Yes, the trip was about education, transportation, breaking away from the daily mill, networking, grabbing opportunities or learning how to recognize them; but right now in my corner it is time for navel gazing, introspection and awareness of the fragility of this suspense between the earth and the heavens and between maturity and old age.
